Rantbook

It’s bad enough that I have to hear about mundane things in the live feed. I can only hide so many of you. Why do you invite me to events when I don’t even live in the same time zone? We all know Facebook isn’t great with personal setting and I can’t seem to turn of  notifications every time someone so much as sneezes while looking at my wall (innuendo?) or profile. I don’t want to know that your boss looks like a frog. And you shouldn’t want to share those feeling wither, for that matter. There are plenty of bosses online, and with Facebook constantly mismanaging privacy settings, your boss who may not be your friend can find every little thing you’ve said about your job. What’s worse is that you also posted to you wall that you need lettuce for CafeWorld and that you found a rabbit in your garden on Farmville–all on company time. You boss can see that.

I’ve strayed quite a bit from where I began. Stop sending me invitations to events you know I can attend. Don’t invite every friend on your list. Don’t invite me if we only became friends because I was doing a stint on Sorority Life. We’re not actually friends. Friends are the people I see face to face or at least talk to on the phone. Just because my virtual Minolo Blaniks helped you win 70,000 of air dollars doesn’t make us friends.

Again, I have strayed, but I think you get my point.

Dear Single Mom

Dear Single Mom,

I understand that you are out there doing tis alone. I understand that your situation is a lot harder mine. To those women who weren’t left with any other choice, I respect you for wamaning up and doing what you have/had to do for your child. To those single ladies who chose to keep the dad out of the picture from jump, get out of my face with your simpering be ause you chose your position. To the mixed bag of divorcee single moms, it’ll get better and I’m rooting for you. To the older single moms who are done raising kids, I may ask How you did it with you kids BUT…

I did not ask for your advice or invite you to my conversation. I understand that you’ve done this all before and you did it without a man by your side, but that is not my lot in life. Don’t tell me that my husband’s input shouldn’t matter. Raising a child is a partnership when there are two of you running a houshold. If you were single from the beginning then you just don’t get it. If you chose to be single then it’s not yours to get. If you’re divorced then you know what it’s like but it still doesn’t give you the right to force your bitterness, self-doubt, and fears onto me and mine. I am in a parental partnership. There is no executive board when it comes to my child’s potty training, discipline, or diet.

Kevin Smith: A Fed Up Fat Ass?

I’m a huge fan of Kevin Smith and was appalled when I read his twitter feed. What I’d like to know is if an Arnold-like guy gets on the plane who’s arms are so wide that the person sitting next to him has to stand up just to look for his seatbelt buried under one of his monstrous thighs. Would this man who’s, let’s say,  6’1 and 300 lbs of muscle be subject to the same humiliation and ridicule? Will he have to pass a does-the-arm-rest-come-up test? Is he forced to purchase to seats-one for him and one for his fanny pack?

Probably none of the above because society doesn’t think that muscle-clad men and women deserve ridicule no matter how ridiculous they may look.

A Rotten Apple (Store)

I’ve always heard that Apple had pretty decent customer service. Being that I didn’t own an Apple computer that wasn’t a hand-me-down, I hadn’t much use of calling if something did go wrong with my computer. But two years ago I got my first, brand new, out-of-the-box computer. Luckily, I was able to persuade hubby-of-mine to get AppleCare. This last week I am glad I did.

Last week, my computer crashed. The Awesome Hubby spoke to my iMac in that computer language he knows so well and found that some rogue RSS feed I no longer subscribe to had written itself over a very important file-ETC(?). So I took it in to have it checked out at the Genius Bar in Stamford. My worst nightmare was having to erase my hard drive and reinstall my operating system. What do you think they told me? Yep, Murphy’s Law in full effect. The nice genius at the Genius Bar named T-Bo (I know!) told me to take my computer home, connect it via firewire to another computer, and start it up via Target Boot–that means hold down the “T” after you hear the ping–so that my computer would load as an external hard drive. Doing this would allow me to transfer the most important items and burn dvds. I, of course, crashed the laptop I was connected to in the process…

I should take this moment to tell you that over the last week I haven’t had the best luck with electronics…

So I took it home and got as much as I could. I ended up burning 9 DVDs of documents, mailboxes, wedding and family pictures, and pdfs from the web. I began the install and hubby had to come calm me down and speak to the computer about freaking me out with words like “journaled” and “corrupted” and made the install start. Everything was going well until the second disc was called upon. Thinking back on it now, I think it might have been best if Hubby had put in the second disc as there must have been something wrong with my electrons that day. The second disc failed, reading “56 minutes remaining”.

I took it back to the Genius Bar in the Stamford Apple Store. I was told they would give me not just a new hard drive but a bigger hard drive, an upgrade to Snow Leopard, and iLife ’09. I was very excited when I went to get my computer the following Thursday.While at the Apple Store, Hubby and I decided it was the opportune time for him to get his new iPhone. We wanted to add a line to my pre-existing account. The man that handled the transaction instead upgraded my iPhone. He tried to fix it by returning the new iPhone and starting over. It worked. My husband got his phone and new number. So why couldn’t I get service all of a sudden? He had deactivated my phone. So down to the other end of the mall we go to AT&T only to find out that, since I have a first generation iPhone, they can’t activate my phone in the store. I have to connect to iTunes. (And to that AT&T guy, eat more fiber. You’re too young to be crotchety.)

So all in all I had to make two trips to AT&T, waste 20 more minutes with a screaming 2-year-old and hungry husband, and still had to call customer service when I got home because nothing was resolved in the store. And when I did contact AT&T I found out that Carmine the Apple guy didn’t reverse the upgrade or the upgrade fee, and had extended my contract another two years. Infuriating doesn’t come close to describing how I felt about Carmine’s “one little mistake.”

Well at least I had my computer home. Guess who got duped? Ding-a-ling! It was me. My newly refurbished, super-pimped-out iMac was just as lame as it was before. They didn’t do any of the upgrades! Good thing I convinced Hubby to buy a family pack of Snow Leopard instead of a single user.

I now have a different opinion of the big Apple and it’s retail store. If I had just done everything online, there would have been much less hassle. We could have grabbed the computer and picked up an already activated iPhone for Hubby. If you’re going to have people upgrade or add a line in store, provide a kiosk or computer where we can make the mistakes ourselves.

I Would Be In Jail…

Man Slaps Stranger’s Kid in Wal-Mart

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2009

Imagine this for a shopping nightmare: Your 2-year-old throws a tantrum at Wal-Mart, and a strange man walks up to her and slaps her across the face to shut her up. Read mlc article.

Me and angry old guy here, would have tangled. You don’t touch my child to say how cute he is. You damn sure won’t touch my child to discipline him. We don’t do much more than a tap on the hand or leg. So I’ll be damned if some stranger will walk up and slap my child.

Some have asked how the mom could stand there and let that man do this.

why wasn’t the mother correcting her own child and what kind of mother is she for letting this loontic touch her child even once.

She was probably in shock. Who in there right mind would walk up and slap a complete stranger’s child? You wouldn’t have expected it? And not all mothers have a sweet little child that they correct on cue. Don’t be a B(with an)itch by calling out the mother “lack of parenting” because a two-year-old was dong what they all do – scream and shout. You did it, your mama did it, and your kid does/will do it.

All that said, me and crazy nutter up there, would be riding in the squad car together, because I wouldn’t have let him leave the store with his balls or face fully in tact.

Mom Fired For Breastfeeding in California

I’ve just read an article on MomLogic about a ruling an Cali to make a small Mexican chain pay just over $45,000  in fines, penalties, and a settlement for the mom. Way to go California government.

You may need to read the article to get where I’m coming from.

In case you didn’t know, the law states that a woman can not be fired while on maternity leave. It states this because it is illegal to fire someone for being pregnant, and being pregnant (and breastfeeding) is a woman issue. Because it is a woman issue, it is deemed sexist to fire her. Now I don’t believe in sexism but I think the law is stupid. Wait…I think the interpretation of the law is stupid. If a man had to be off work because of something to do with his prostate he wouldn’t be fired. If he were, it wouldn’t be seen as sexist.

Do I think Acosta Taco is wrong? Yes. Absolutely. Did they get what they deserved? Yes. Should this woman’s job be protected while she is on maternity leave and doing everything she is suppose to do for her job AND her child? You damn right! I just don’t agree with the interpretation of the law.

Painful Week

So last Friday (the 8th) I had oral surgery, but not before KidWonder got sick on Tuesday with a bad cold. So over the weekend DadWonder had two sickies to take care of.KW had a bad cold that caused his asthma to act up and we had to kick in to full gear with the meds.  We were finally applauded by a physician on the stellar job we were doing taking care of our child. <sarcastic sigh of relief>

So with KW being medicated about 5 times a day we thought, “Why not send me in for 9 shots of local anesthetic, three tooth extractions, and surgical removal of an empacted wisdom tooth followed by a haze of pain accompanied with percoset and amoxicillin?” Why indeed. It’s all because, and  I can’t believe I’m admitting this, I’m getting braces. Am I crazy for getting braces 8 months before the wedding? YES! Am I going to do it anyway? YES! It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time a my orthodontist (Peter Maro, formerly of the New York Rangers)  promises that my smile will vastly improve by April. So on Tuesday I am off to have spacers put in even thought the pain of the surgery hasn’t completely subsided (Yay!). wish me luck.

Shopping for a Big Girl

Dress worn by Joy Nash in latest Fat Rant: $149

As a Big Girl, I find it hard to find the cute dresses to wear. I find it even harder to find the cute dresses at an affordable price. Isn’t it bad enough that “regular” clothing stores charge extra if you go over a certain size. Why is it that the plus size shops can’t sell me that cute dress of $15-20 instead $60? Is it really that much more fabric?

Shops like Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Kiyonna have outrageous prices. Manolo for the Big Girl offers up discounts at just such places. Even with these discounts, I’d still pay $100 for 2 dresses (though I did get 4 dresses from SizeAppeal for about $20 each w/ a code from Manolo). Maybe I just don’t understand fashion enough to pay this kind of money. I’m just a girl who was raised on WalMart, Target, and Payless Shoes, so excuse me if my country bumpkin ways aren’t savvy enough to get it. Even Target is now charging higher prices (storewide) so it’s hard to find the best deals there as well. I guess I’m just cheap.

I also never learned to walk in high heels. I wish I has because the dresses I do own need cute shoes. I buy cute shoes but I can’t go anywhere in them because I walk three feet and have to sit down. I want to learn before the wedding because I want to be super sexy at the rehearsal and super-duper sexy on the honeymoon.

Joy Nash: The Answer for Big Girls

I was on the Manolo for the Big Girl blog and found this new video by Joy Nash. I saw her Fat Rant on YouTube a few months ago and she’s released another.